It has been pointed out to me that in my previous post I didn’t thank God for my husband. Does that mean I take our relationship for granted? Hardly. Several years ago we hit a marital wall and one of the things I learned then was to be sure not to take our relationship for granted. It’s almost as if our marriage is in it’s own separate category. To add it to the list of things below would somehow diminish all that it really is.
These thoughts have been rambling through my head since I made that post. Jeremy had surgery a couple weeks ago and in the first few hours of that experience and into the coming days these thoughts came together. Thus, a convergence of thought.
- I am thankful for a vital husband who is extremely capable and talented
- It makes me smile that even through his pain (emotional or physical) he still tries to make me laugh and often succeeds
- During the first hours and days of his recovery I helped him get dressed, socks, shirts the whole bit. It occurred to me how grateful I was that this wasn’t our normal. That he will get better and he’ll be able to care personally for himself. I was happy to do it, don’t get me wrong, but I was glad that it was temporary and not a Christopher Reeve situation.
- At one time I would have said we are lucky. These days can’t say I really believe in luck so much (check back if we ever win the lottery). I know that we both work hard at our relationship and I know we are both committed to it.
- I am thrilled to be with someone that I would be attracted to and desire to be with even if I met him for the first time today.
- It’s interesting to note that we’ve known each other for 20 years and yet I learned just a few weeks ago that he likes Laffy Taffy. who knew?! I can’t help but wonder what else I’ll learn in the coming years.
I do thank God for my husband and our marriage. I don’t take it for granted. It is something so precious and so dear that it is difficult for me to put into black and white words on a page. It feels as though the words limit what it is.
So, there it is. Some people might say we are lucky to have been together for 20 years (married for 17), and I suppose in some ways we are, but the two of us know the hard work and committment it has taken and will continue to take. Here’s to 18 years in 2009!
Requirement number one was to love them, and I probably jumped the gun with the next step being to get custody. Depending on how I figure it’s either number two (and I’ll shift getting custody) or I’ll squeeze it in at 1.5. Either way, my next suggestion is NOT to ride the roller coaster. It’s right there, a bright shiny, roller coaster of emotion just waiting for your mind, body and soul, but don’t do it. You will need the energy for when the children are actually living with you. Read More »
Last night we attended a fabulous party that celebrated two of our friends turning 40. The hostess had two girlie drinks available, one of which was labeled S** on the Beach. (I loved that because she has kiddos in the house and didn’t want to deal with bottled sex in the kitchen. hee hee) As the night progressed one of the guests was deciding what to drink and she chose the sex because, according to her, “I might as well drink it even if I’ve never done it. (on the beach that is)” People nearby chuckled and I piped up, “That’s OK, because it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” That apparently was the wrong thing to say. One person promptly asked how much I’d had to drink (not much) and others appeared surprised that I’d say such a thing, out loud, in public.
Let me explain… there is sand and wind on the beach. Need I say more? My comment was meant to disspell the myth of the Hollywood sexy beach scene. By now, as reasonably well-educated adults, we should realize that EVERY Hollywood scene is well-lit, designed and rehearsed over and over. When the non-professionals attempt to recreate such a scene we forget about things like sand and wind. So, my comment was in no way related to the quality of the actual encounter, but rather the surroundings that left much, much to be desired.
There. The conversation last night moved much too fast for me to defend my comment. But here it is now for all the web to see.
A quick search on Amazon comes up empty for books with this title. Since it isn’t written yet, maybe I’ll write it.
The short story is that JD’s sister has left her kids for the umpteenth time with their mom, the children’s grandmother. Grandma is capable of handling one of the kids at a time for a day at a time. I don’t think that’s unusual. When my sister-in-law leaves it’s usually under the guise of “I’m gonna go get a Coke, I’ll be right back” and she’s gone for anywhere from 12 hours to a week, without any communication or way to get ahold of her (she won’t answer her cell phone). This happened, most recently, yesterday. However, yesterday CPS and the police were called to take the children because grandma could no longer care for them. This is new. This has never happened before. It’s time.
This starts a clock for their mother. The mother now has 48 hours to claim her kids. If she does then the circus starts all over again. If she doesn’t then she has six months to take classes and follow the rules set by the state to regain custody of her children. It isn’t a perfect system by any means. The laws are all on her side. We have to wait and see what she does. She may do nothing and the children will be available at the end of six months for placement. She may pull it together and regain custody. In all likelihood she’ll get her act together a little, just enough and this will drag out for more than six months. Read More »
In honor of our recent (Sunday June 8th) 17th wedding anniversary I thought I’d post this.
I finished up She’s Come Undone recently at the gym between classes. This quote is at the very end of the book and it had me both laughing out loud and thinking at the same time.
“…I just don’t believe in happily-ever-after”
“I ain’t offering you happily-ever-after. I’m offering you…happily-maybe-sometimes-ever-after. Sort of. You know, with warts…”
Isn’t this so true?! Isn’t this all any of us really have to offer? When we get married we think we can offer the other person perfection (and thus receive it back in return) and yet in reality all we have to offer is ourselves, “You know, with warts”. It doesn’t sound nearly as romantic “happily-maybe-sometimes-ever-after” but isn’t it much more realistic? This isn’t what young girls dream about, but maybe they should because it’s true.
Happy Anniversary to us, warts and all.
::
Pastor Fred posted this fun visual test and JD and I just spent the last hour taking all the tests. So, that’s what we’ve been up to today. It’s a hang out day, the little girl is still in her cozies. We have a date tonight, the glamming up will start soon.
This past Saturday was a beautiful thing.
It was the perfect symbiosis of life as JD and I have figured out thus far. We all like to sleep in. Well, to qualify that the little girl likes to “snuggle in”. If someone is willing to get her something to eat and let her snuggle back into the bed to watch TV, the morning is golden. Because of our schedules, the way that they are, this is best enjoyed on Saturdays. This last week the breakfast and snuggling were delayed a bit even by E’s normal routine. She is usually up and ready to face the world at 6:45 am and then detained in her room until her clock reads 7:00 am. At that time she is allowed to venture out and seek comfort for her hungry belly and cold feet. This is of course assuming that she hasn’t already climbed into our bed between the hours of 1:00 and 4:00 am. When this happens, as long as she goes back to sleep, I don’t mind anymore (notice the anymore, I’m relaxing into motherhood!).
So, back to Saturday… 8:00 am E and I are up and had toast or cereal or some such token of breakfast. I got dressed, she got dressed and then we both went back to mommy and daddy’s room to watch TV. An hour or so later JD joined us in the awakened state. He was hungry, but neither cereal nor toast was sounding good. I mentioned IHOP and heard, “Do they deliver?” “Um, no.” And truthfully soggy lukewarm pancakes with rubbery eggs just don’t sound very good out of a Styrofoam box. The Saturday attire of t-shirt, hat, cargo shorts was donned by JD and off we went. Surprisingly the wait was less than 20 minutes and we were seated in a timely manner. YUM! When IHOP sounds good, and then I actually get to eat it, YUM! That’s all I have to say. By the way, I order the same thing EVERY time: Harvest nut & grain pancake combo, eggs over medium w/ sausage. High cholesterol be damned. It isn’t like I eat it every week, or even every month for that matter.
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Posted by: Jenn | 01-03-2009 | 12:01 PM
